Two Ways To Get Your Heart Back

You probably read my previous post, I Left My Heart In San Francisco, and thought to yourself, How do I get my heart back?  (If you didn't, it's a good read).  Well, I heard you and have the answer.  It's a 2-step process:

• Own it.  You have to own the fact that you were a participant in whatever relationship drama, defect or arrangement.  Even more important though is owning the decision you made that had absolutely nothing to do with the man.  You see, you made the decision to defect on your heart.  Something made you walk away from your heart that had little to do with him and that, my dear sister, is what you have to own.
     
• Feel it.  This is so hard for us high performing women.  We know how to work at stuff but have a hard time allowing ourselves to feel.  We don't trust our feelings.  Somebody somewhere told us not to.  Strength was to stop crying, dry our eyes and get back to work.  This is the worst thing you can do for whatever you don't resolve sours in the stomach of your self image and self esteem.  Feeling it allows you to be a friend to yourself and to get curious about the feeling.  This my dear sister is the path to Wisdom.

Your heart was, is and will forever be yours.  So you can continue to leave it with someone who doesn't deserve it or you can grown woman up and do what you have to do to heal it.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

Have You Left Your Heart In San Francisco?

Regardless to whether it's San Francisco or Relationships Past, Anywhere USA, you need to go back and get your heart.  You know why?  It's your heart.  It was given to you for safe keeping.

Maybe you trusted it before it was mature enough to know the difference between Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong and you blamed it for the painful experience that left you broke, busted and disgusted.  I've been there.  Here's the thing though.  Your heart is the baby, not the bathwater.  If anything needs tossing or needs to be left in San Francisco or otherwise, it's being defined by what happened to you. What happened was merely an experience, a lesson, not the judge and jury sentencing your heart to a life in prison with no hope of parole.

So go and get your heart back.  Dust it off.  Give it a big hug.  And help it to become wiser.  What it needs to know isn't whether or not men can be trusted.  It needs to know that you can be trusted.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

Do You Have A Dating Personality?

The buzz word for dating nowadays is authenticity.  But what does that mean?  When you've been defined by your performance most of your life - as have I - it is hard to know where your personality ends and you begin.

Your dating personality is your representative. Your PR agent of sorts.  It's how you show up in your relationships.  Dr. Michelle Callahan, an expert fixture on the popular Tyra Banks Show during its 5 season run and author of one of the most insightful books I've ever read, Ms. Typed, identifies at least 10:

• Ms. Soul Mate
• Ms. Independent
• Ms. Perfect
• Ms. Anaconda
• Ms. Mom
• Ms. Sex Machine
• Ms. Rose Colored Glasses
• Ms. Second Place
• Ms. Bag Lady
• Ms. Drama Queen

I have concluded that fueling these dating personalities is one thing:  not knowing what your enough factor is.  Not knowing leaves you feeling insecure about yourself and about your relationships.  The real you is MIA (missing in action) and a man is left with your insecurity to deal with.  That's so not what he had in mind!

To learn what your enough factor is and how to relate authentically, I invite you to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and to follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS.

Until then, Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith...Not Insecurity!

When Is The Right Time To Have "The Talk" With A Man

Although women want to know where they stand from the beginning with a man, we struggle with when we should ask.  As a result, many a woman finds her voice, her value and her vision for the relationship have all been compromised.  So when is the right time to have "the talk" with a man?  I'm going to answer that question with a more important one.  When is the right time to know what your intentions are?

We women play games with ourselves sometimes.  We tell ourselves that there is no harm.  We tell ourselves that we can handle it. We tell ourselves that if things don't work, we can get out.  All of this is right in theory only; not often in practice. Think about it. You are the one who stands to win or to lose. This is why it is important that a woman be certain of her own feelings, her own needs and where she is at this time in her life. Sometimes, like Iyanla Vanzant, she discovers that what she thought she wanted, she really doesn't at all.  

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

What Grown Women Know About Break Ups That Bitter Women Will Never Know

A divorce or break up can be devastating.  What you entered into with hope and commitment crumbles right before your eyes and there is nothing you can do about it.  Sometimes, this leaves women shaken especially in their confidence, making it hard to trust a new man.

What grown women know about break ups is all relationships end.  Some relationships end because someone wants out. Others because someone dies.  In either case, there is an expiration date on relationships.  This, grown women know. When women understand this, it makes it easier to move on. Though it hurt very badly, was very disappointing, was a betrayal of epic proportions or required a couple of rounds with the Stages of Grief, she understands that she owns no one.  Sometimes things swing in her favor and sometimes they don't.  While none of that is in her control, one thing is.  She can choose healing over bitterness.  She can take back her heart back and make sure it gets the healing that it needs.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

How to Know If He's Mr. Right

There is no iron clad formula for figuring out if a man is Mr. Right.  But this is who he is not.  He is not someone you've got to impress or accommodate or adjust to.  He is not someone who makes you feel like he likes the idea of you better than he likes you.  Whether right feels like a man who asks you to dance or the man who brings you soup when you tell him that you don't feel well, there is something in your emotional DNA that knows that special kind of easy breeziness of your Mr. Right.

So keep your eyes and heart open.  Tune into the sound of your own music and do your own math.  If his sound doesn't resonate with yours and something simply doesn't add up, trust what your Wise Self knows.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

How to Change Your Man's Mind About These Three Words: Can We Talk

Say the words, "Can we talk," and your man's whole disposition changes.  Why is that?  "It normally means I've done something wrong," a man will tell you.  But what if those words didn't mean that?  

Someone once said that men are motivated by reward. Suppose you made his experience of "can we talk," rewarding? Maybe he wouldn't hate it.  I look at it as similar to communication between parents and their kids.  Studies show that if they talk about a whole lot of nothing, it is much easier to talk when it matters.  Perhaps this applies to conversations between lovers too.  Try it.  Try surprising your man by asking him,"Can we talk?" Then talk about something worthy of conversation and invite his input.  Men love to solve problems and be the hero.  You can create that experience for him.  Know this though.  In order to change his mind you're going to have to do it more than once.  Tell me how it goes.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!