My Two-Step Emotional Detox

My love journey required an emotional detox. Here's my two-step formula.

Step One:  Do an emotional cleanse.  

Pain doesn't just go away.  It simply goes into volcano posture.  At first it looks as if everything is fine.  There is no spewing.  No smoke.  Only an occasional gurgle.  What we don't understand is there is still activity.  The pain is still there.  Give it time and the right conditions and it will gush molten lava, burning up everything that it comes in contact with.  Relationships are destroyed by its cascade of destruction.

When you stop feeling the pain or meet a new man, it is easy to think that everything is okay.  How you feel throughout the progression is more telling.

Step Two:  Eat healthy.

Just as it is counterproductive to buy a greasy hamburger after a detox, it is counterproductive to feed yourself the same toxic diet of erroneous beliefs.  The way you challenge those beliefs and exorcise them from your body is to feed yourself by educating yourself.

Find out what healthy looks like in a man.  As I said in my previous post, Don't Give A Man A Paycheck He Didn't Earn, we women assume that giving demonstrates that we are "good women," wife material, a keeper.  Your girlfriends believe the same.  Here's the thing.  You aren't dating your girlfriends.  You are dating men.  Men see things completely different.  So, in order to be effective in your relationships with men, you need to know his language (how he communicates love and respect) and his culture (how he's wired).

There's A Duality to Life! There's A Duality to Love!

Have you ever gotten bad news and good news on the same day?  You can get a distress call and immediately drop to your knees.  And before you can gather yourself, you get good news that makes you want to jump up and down.  Life is filled with dualities just like this.

Love is the same.  On the heels of an unexpected break up, you can walk into a coffee shop and meet the man who is your life partner.  Martha Beck, whose writings have brought such revelation to my life over the years, wrote an article that points out the new babies born out of endings.  Have you noticed them?  Many of us don't notice until they get up some size.

As devastating as it was, the end of my marriage released little bundles of joy into my life that would grow up to be recovery of my soul, business ownership, and finding true love.  As painful as the ending was, these babies would not have been born otherwise.

Things might be tough right now.  Your heart might be broken.  Still, I encourage you to notice the positive things that start off as specks that grow up into something beautiful.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel your Enough Factor with Faith!!

Two Ways To Get Your Heart Back

You probably read my previous post, I Left My Heart In San Francisco, and thought to yourself, How do I get my heart back?  (If you didn't, it's a good read).  Well, I heard you and have the answer.  It's a 2-step process:

• Own it.  You have to own the fact that you were a participant in whatever relationship drama, defect or arrangement.  Even more important though is owning the decision you made that had absolutely nothing to do with the man.  You see, you made the decision to defect on your heart.  Something made you walk away from your heart that had little to do with him and that, my dear sister, is what you have to own.
     
• Feel it.  This is so hard for us high performing women.  We know how to work at stuff but have a hard time allowing ourselves to feel.  We don't trust our feelings.  Somebody somewhere told us not to.  Strength was to stop crying, dry our eyes and get back to work.  This is the worst thing you can do for whatever you don't resolve sours in the stomach of your self image and self esteem.  Feeling it allows you to be a friend to yourself and to get curious about the feeling.  This my dear sister is the path to Wisdom.

Your heart was, is and will forever be yours.  So you can continue to leave it with someone who doesn't deserve it or you can grown woman up and do what you have to do to heal it.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!

What Grown Women Know About Break Ups That Bitter Women Will Never Know

A divorce or break up can be devastating.  What you entered into with hope and commitment crumbles right before your eyes and there is nothing you can do about it.  Sometimes, this leaves women shaken especially in their confidence, making it hard to trust a new man.

What grown women know about break ups is all relationships end.  Some relationships end because someone wants out. Others because someone dies.  In either case, there is an expiration date on relationships.  This, grown women know. When women understand this, it makes it easier to move on. Though it hurt very badly, was very disappointing, was a betrayal of epic proportions or required a couple of rounds with the Stages of Grief, she understands that she owns no one.  Sometimes things swing in her favor and sometimes they don't.  While none of that is in her control, one thing is.  She can choose healing over bitterness.  She can take back her heart back and make sure it gets the healing that it needs.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!