Don't Give A Man A Paycheck He Didn't Earn

After attending the Kick Off of "What Is Your Enough Factor?," one of the attendees posted a video of Mary J. Blige as she talks publicly about her heart-wrenching break up from her husband.  Check it out:

https://youtu.be/7T3eTnA9JMQ

Dr. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus said this.  "Don't give a man a paycheck he didn't earn."  We women think "holding down" a man until he gets back on his feet or offering to cook him dinner when you're only one date in tells him you are a keeper.  Quite the contrary.  It tells him that for little effort, he can get your best.

A man doesn't deserve a paycheck for making you feel good.

My heart goes out to Mary, yes, but her's is a cautionary tale for any woman who is exchanging glances with another woman -- you know that knowing glance that says, "happened to me too."  I have to call bull shiggety on that!  Somewhere along the way somebody modeled for us that feelings of euphoria with a man earns him a big whopping paycheck.  It doesn't.

A man is not responsible for your heart.  I know that we women want to make him the culprit; but are you ready for some grown woman truth?  You had to betray you before he did.  Self betrayal is limping away from a break up without attending to what got broken.  That, he is not responsible for.

From the day Mary came on the scene, her songs were about one bad relationship after another.  For years, Mary's songs were the soundtrack for every lovelorn emotion.  As much as I love the mean (in a good way) beats and arrangements of her songs, the lyrics were the wailings of a tortured soul.   When you are begging a man to stay with you, something is broken inside of you that needs attention. It doesn't matter that she went through a transformation after getting married that landed her on Hollywood's Best Dressed List.  If you put lip stick on a pig, it is still a pig.  I'm not calling Mary a pig.  She is a beautiful and talented woman.  What I mean is no matter how you dress something up, the truth of what it is remains.  

To read more about my two-step emotional detox, click here.

Why Having Too Much Chemistry Can Kill A Budding Romance

Ask most daters what they are looking for when they meet the opposite sex for the first time and they'll tell you chemistry. Here's why a lot of chemistry kills a budding romance.

Chemistry is like fire.  If the fire is contained, it brings warmth and comfort.  If the fire is not, it can destroy everything!  By the same token, a lot of chemistry might give you both a rush.  But what do you have afterwards?  For men, it leaves little motivation to continue. This is a big surprise for women who can't figure out why he hasn't called them back or wonder what could have caused him to lose interest.  Unlike it is for men, for a woman, it is what makes her want more. She can't wait for him to call her again and she tells her friends that they made a real connection. I thought the same and then I talked with Dr. John Gray, author of MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.  What he said made so much sense.  He explained the chemical affects on getting flooded with dopamine, the pleasure hormone, too soon in a relationship.  To keep that from happening, he suggests that you take things slow.  By doing so, you can maintain just enough pleasure to keep you both interested while increasing the likelihood of building something real.

For more hot tips just like this, be sure to catch one of our upcoming tour dates at a city near you at www.suzettesolutions.com/enough-factor and follow us on Facebook at #EnoughFactor #LIDS. Until then Fuel Your Enough Factor with Faith!!